The damage is done (previously titled How dare you)
by Miraculous1109
Summary: Marinette is struggling to maintain the facade of the happy,bubbly girl in class and the all powerful Ladybug. She feels utterly alone and is struggling to keep fighting, growing weary from akumas as well as the uphill battle that is life. Will any one notice her cry for help, or has the damage already been done? Rated M for self harm and suicidal thoughts.
1. Update!

Hello again! Sorry for the year long hiatus but i am happy to say that i am rewriting chapters to improve them as well as possibly writing some new ones! I have already done chapter one and chapter two will come very soon!


	2. Chapter 1

**The damage is done**

 **Marinette is struggling to maintain the facade of the happy,bubbly girl in class and the all powerful Ladybug. She feels utterly alone and is struggling to keep fighting, growing weary from akumas as well as the uphill battle that is life. Will any one notice her cry for help, or has the damage already been done?**

 **Rated M for self harm and suicidal thoughts.**

* * *

 **Hi! After a few days off of it being a whole year since I started this , I have decided to rewrite and hopefully continue it. Thank you to all the people who had previously followed my story as it means a lot! I am also posting this story on Archive of our own (under the same username and title). This was Previously titled "How dare you" but I feel that its a bit cringey and since I am re doing this that it needed to change. Hope you enjoy!**

 **I do not have any rights to Miraculous.**

* * *

Glittering, sparkling, glowing: Lights dotted the view before her as she swung through the Parisian streets with graceful elegance. Onlookers gasped with delight, took out their phones, and tried to take pictures of their idol, the person they aspire to be, just to feel like a part of her world. To try and feel what they imagine she feels. Ignorant to a world they are not a part of but desperately cling onto. She can understand the want, the need to be someone, anyone other than themselves. Someone actually important. A feeling that overpowers her every day.

The piercing night air rushed around her as she landed on the edge of a building that had become almost like a second home, and slowly crept up behind the dark figure of her victim that was perched on the edge of the roof, wind blowing through their hair. They still hadn't noticed her approach as they looked thoughtfully out to the horizon.  
"Hey kitty, what'cha thinking about?"  
Chat practically fell of the roof, but at the last moment was able to recover himself. His eyes were still diluted from the shook as he turned to look at her.  
"Oh you know, just about how purr- fect you are m'lady"  
But ladybug didn't have a snappy comeback, or brush his comment off, she didn't have the mental will power to think of anything. Not tonight. Chats once playful expression turned into one of worry and a hint of confusion. Ladybug just turned away. Hoping he wouldn't see that her eyes were puffy and red and her shoulders were slumped. She had never felt this vulnerable in front of Chat before. Sadly nothing was really going right for her today.  
"M-M'lady….. What's wrong?"  
"N-Nothing Chat I'm fine…"  
"It doesn't seem like nothing."  
Ladybug met his gaze but instantly regretted it. She didn't want to see the look of pity in his eyes. She gets enough of it from Alya at school. She nervously rung her right hand around her left wrist, causing it to sting a little bit. She sighed and tried to compose herself. She didn't want Chat to know. She didn't want him to be disappointed in her, she valued him too dearly for that to happen. She couldn't lose him now .  
"Thank you."  
His look of concern rapidly changed to one of complete confusion by the sudden change in the direction of the conversation.  
"For what?"  
"Everything."  
Ladybug turned her gaze back to a confused Chat noir, eyes full of sincerity.  
"You have never let me down. No matter what you have always put your life on the line for me, for Paris. But I know that, if you knew who was under the mask, it would be an entirely different story. I'm not the Ladybug everyone wants me to be without the mask on. My crush doesn't even know I exist, hell, no one does. Anyway. Thank you."  
Anger. That was the only way to describe the emotion that Chat noir wore on his face. Ladybug started to get up, scared of what Chat might do. Had she done something wrong? As she did this Chat grabbed her right wrist and pulled her close to him.  
"How dare you."  
Chat whispered. A million different emotions flittering across his face.  
"C-Chat….?"  
"How dare you speak about yourself like that. You are the most amazing person in the whole of Paris. Don't you dare think anything like that about yourself ever again."  
Ladybug sighed. The repetition of this getting boring as well damaging her more every day. It was tiring. She was tired.  
"Yes…..Ladybug is idolised across all of Paris. But for the girl underneath, it is a different story."  
And with that she hastily flung her Yo-yo in the direction of home and swung away into the night, before he even had time to contemplate what she had said. It wasn't the first time she had tears in her eyes as she zipped home.

* * *

Feeling drained, emotionally and physically, Ladybug de-transformed on her balcony back into Marinette and then proceeded to drop through the trapdoor, landing on her bed. Tikki floated down onto her pillow beside her.  
"Marinette?"  
She could feel Tikki's questioning gaze as she got off her bed and sat at her desk.  
"What was that all about Marinette? Are you ok?"  
Marinette stared at her covered wrist. Eyes still brimming with buried pain and sadness.  
"Don't worry about it Tikki, I'm fine, really."  
She wasn't fine. She hadn't been fine for a while but no one knew that. Not even Tikki. Marinette turned to look up at Tikki, using the same smile she plastered on her face when around others. Draining her more.  
"I'm sorry Tikki, I'm just really tired after the tough akuma fight today. I guess I just got a bit emotional."  
Tikki was still looking a bit sceptical and Marinette hoped to God that her fake smile looked genuine enough to fool even Tikki. And apparently, it was.  
"Okay Marinette! Goodnight!"  
"Goodnight!"


	3. Chapter 2

Pain shot through Marinette's leg as it smacked into her seat as she tripped into it, causing the whole class to laugh at her misfortune and consistent clumsiness and an angry Miss Bustier to glare at her while she composed herself and got out her things for the boring lesson ahead.

 _Why me? I thought Chat Noir was meant to be the embodiment of bad luck? Maybe this just proves that I'm not cut out to be Ladybug. She's not meant to be a clumsy civilian like me._

Marinette sighed and frowned, staring at her tablet in front of her. She of course was now used to being the laughing stock of her class, never seeming to break out of her pattern of clumsiness. Marinette struggles a lot with her school work, never seeming to find the energy to care enough about putting in the effort, her mind just going blank when she does. She couldn't do anything right.

/Adrien/

Adrien saw. He saw her slip. It was only for a split second but he could see the pain in her eyes, in the curve of her mouth. He had always thought of Marinette as the happy, bubbly, brave class rep. That stood up to anyone who dared make someone unhappy or belittle them. Granted most of the time that was Chloe, who had caused countless akumas and is only getting worse. In the time he had known Marinette he hadn't seen anything to contradict this.

 _But I guess the people who smile the most can also be the ones who are most broken inside. Maybe I should try to talk to Marinette…. But she always seems so scared around me so it might not be the best idea. Maybe I should see if Alya can talk to her?_

Just then he heard Alya performing her daily gushing about Ladybug. This time she was showing Marinette a video of the akuma attack the other day.

"Isn't this AMAZING?! Isn't SHE amazing? She captured the akuma in under 5 minutes! That's record time."

"Alya, I think you're going a bit overboard. She made a lot of mistakes. I mean, she probably could have done it in under 3 if she had thought about it and attacked from a different angle with the help of Chat Noir."

Adrien was confused. He had no idea that Marinette would criticise his lady like that. What did Marinette know about battle strategies? He had always thought that Marinette had always like the spotted heroine but maybe that wasn't really the case. Alya quickly formed his thoughts into words.

/Marinette/

"Mari, what's the matter with you? I thought you were a massive Ladybug fan?"

Marinette sighed. She shouldn't have said anything, she knew that but said it anyway.

 _I'm such an idiot. Now she'll keep bugging me about it. Just brush it of Mari, like you normally do._

Marinette tried to put her most convincing smile on her face and twisted towards Alya.

"I'm sorry Alya, I'm just really tired this morning. I was up late working on a design. That's why I slept in and was late."

"Okay girl, whatever you say."

 _Great now I have managed to annoy Alya. Today has been just great. What else will the universe throw at me today?_

Marinette mentally noted to make sure to stay away from any black cats in the streets on the way home, as she was sure that that would tip the scale of her recent luck further into the abyss of darkness.

The sound of the bell bell echoed down the corridors, soon to be replaced by the sound of students leaving for the day, to go home and relax after a day of hard work. After packing away all her things, Marinette headed towards the door of the class room, extremely glad that the torture was over. But then again.

Marinette didn't need a black cat for her day to get worse.

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

Marinette screamed internally as she recognised the voice and looked up. Chloe Bourgeois. She was blocking the door way so there was no way around her. She was trapped. _Please._

 _Please. Please. Please don't let her do this to me! I don't know how much more I can take._

She pleaded the universe to take pity on her. Just this once.

"Please can you move Chloe? I need to get home to help my parents in the Bakery."

She knew it wouldn't work but she had to try, while she still could. Before she gives up.

"Make me."

Chloe stared at the girl with a smirk on her face and challenge in her eyes. Marinette tried to edge around her but Chloe grabbed her shoulders and slammed her straight into the door frame: this isn't the first time Chloe has gone to these lengths to hurt her, it had started with the horrible comment here and there but had progressed rapidly. The back of her skull connected harshly with the solid wooden door frame, causing a low thud sound to echo around the class room. Chloe couldn't contain her laughter, it coming out harsh and wicked. Marinette used the opportunity to run.

She couldn't hear anything but a high pitched ringing and could only just manage to stand up straight but she knew she needed to get home. She ran as fast as the adrenaline could make her. She ran past two people in the hall way but she couldn't see clear enough through the tears to make out who they were. Marinette carried on running, not caring about the odd and questioning looks she got on the street.

As soon as she opened the door to her house she ran up to her room. She threw he bag across her room, tears streaked down her face, in that moment not caring that Tikki was in there. She slipped away into the bathroom before the stunned kwamii could get out of the bag. Her head pounding with pain and darkness, Marinette fumbled with a latch in the draw underneath the sink. Not even Tikki knew it was there. Not even her parents. Once she unlatched it she removed the small blade, which had been removed from one of her sharpeners, pulled up her sleeve and held the blade against her arm. Marinette stared at the many cuts already layered across her skin like cross hatching, before pressing the blade into her skin, and watching the blood drip down.


End file.
